Post-Coitus, Post Boom-Boom, When The Naughty Party Ends…however you want to refer to it… I’m curios about what happens after sex. The “after sex part” is something that isn’t referred to much, but shouldn’t it be? Sometimes it can really feel like what happens after sex is ignored just as much foreplay. But by now, it is more and more obvious that foreplay is pretty important often times in sex. So where’s the appreciation of after sex?
Over time there have been some post-sex rituals that I have picked up. But there are also the parts of after sex that have been dependent on my partner and how I felt around them. What are the after-sex rituals that we are supposed to, and what are the after-sex routines that I wish someone would have told me to get rid of.
After Sex: Cuddle Or Nah
“I didn’t know I had a choice of how to share my space, even right after having sex.”
When I was younger I always thought that right after sex, it was important to cuddle. Actually I still do. The only difference is now I know that they it doesn’t have to happen right after. And it does not have to happen after every single time.
When I am in a committed relationship and happy, I am down to cuddle for as long as I can lay horizontally. But if I am single, or angry do not touch me.
When I was younger, I didn’t really know that there was a choice. I didn’t know I had a choice of how to share my space, even right after having sex. I didn’t know that I was not obligated to lay with someone, even if the sex was horrible. When I first started having sex, and even years after, after-sex felt like something that I was supposed to be present for for a respectable amount of time.
I didn’t feel right just getting up even though sometimes I really wanted to. I also was not that great at just relaxing either. It took sometime to know what to do with myself right after.
After Sex: Peeing is A Must
In both the male and female anatomy, there is the urethra. Therefore, it goes for everyone that peeing after sex is pretty important.
During sex with things, getting pushing into or being pushed into holes, bacteria can potential travel. Peeing helps to clear our the bladder and push out bacteria that could travel and cause infection.
Even though some consider it less important for men to pee after sex, from a sexual hygiene perspective, I think it is just a good look to go ahead and do it.
And on the topic of sexual hygiene, clean up, and wiping up is a good idea too. After some messy sex, or using toys cleaning up is a good look to keep you, your partner(s) and your toy(s) from unwanted bacteria.
After Sex: Being Honest If It Was Good
To Get Better Orgasms and Pleasure
Ok now this one is sometime really hard to do! Only after exploring my body and really communicating with my partner that I was able to start having great orgasms regularly.
“After some messy sex, or using toys cleaning up is a good look to keep you, your partner(s) and your toy(s) from unwanted bacteria”
My first orgasms felt more like flukes - like some capricious byproduct of having sex rather than a part of the main show! I thought I was enjoying sex and to some degree I did, but nothing compared to the way that I am able to enjoy it know. And part of it is to being honest with my sexual partners, and giving them the space to be honest with me.
By being more honest with my partners, I have been able to get better head, stronger and more consistent orgasms and better understanding of what overall pleasure could begin to feel like. I have also been able to learn and explore my partner’s body better and experience stronger pleasure from them.
A major turn on is being able to help turn on your sexual partner. When I was pretending to have orgasms and lying to people that they good at oral sex definitely did NOT make sex pleasurable AT ALL.
No one, is just the best at sex immediately. There is always something knew about our bodies we can learn. And it can be so much more fun.
To Feel Less Pressure
In the beginning of a sexual relationship, sex can feel freeing or it can feel like an audition. The same can go for a long term relationship- some welcome knowing the same body for years, and others feel pressure to come up with new tricks.
When there is so much pressure around having sex, who can possibly have fun? What if you had a partner that not able to get or stay hard long enough? Without being honest about that during sex, both of y’all are going to be disappointed.
Or what if you don’t really want to have sex? Maybe sex causes you pain or you just aren’t really about it right now. Either way being honest after having sex, if you have had it, that you don’t want to do it anymore is important for (and your right to) say.
The F.U.Q.S
What you do after sex can be just as important and enjoyable as foreplay.
Keep it clean. It’s the decent thing to do.
Sometimes it makes sense to fake an orgasm but not always!
After sex can be fun, funny, relaxing, straightforward, or sexy. With any of these, it can still be intimate.