Whether it was Masturbation month or not, sex, technology and masturbation are three words that have worked well together for a very long time. Masturbation is great for our health, our self happiness and our relationships. When done properly, it is both pleasurable and fun. Last week, we talked about how technology has expanded contraception; well with masturbation, the options for safe sexual pleasure are extensive.
No matter what equipment you are working with, masturbation is a great way to rejuvenation, energy, tension release, and fun! So why do so many of us hide the fact that we do it at all?
“78 percent of adults in the world masturbate, including: 96 percent of British men, 93 percent of German men, and 92 percent of American men; 78 percent of British women, 76 percent of German women, and 76 percent of American women.i”
Porn
“In TENGA’s 2018 Global Self Pleasure Report, 53% of American men are open to using a sex toy on himself and 71 percent are open to using one on his partner.”
Whether we are honest about it or not, porn is certainly one of the most common ways that many of us are able to find sexual pleasure, and can be a helpful aid for masturbation. Sure it can be controversial and need be used wisely, but when some porn sites are averaging 92 million visits a day, there really is no more denying its importance.
Access
The United States still runs the top amount of porn traffic in the country. And with it as easy as pulling up PornHub on our phones, it is almost a no brainer for so many of us. According to PornHub’s 2018 Year In Review, 72% of viewers are accessing porn right from their phones, leaving only 28% using their computers and tablets.
Of course, whenever reading stats of a company made by the company, they should be read with a grain of salt. However, 33.5 billion visits a to a pornographic website in a year and 92 million visits in a day can’t be ignored.
Porn gets a very hard wrap, especially because porn is performative and exaggerated. but it can be helpful when used with discretion. Porn can help to relax and stimulate us mentally to enjoy sexual arousal and orgasm. Some use porn to expand ideas of how we can pleasure ourselves with solo play. It can also be helpful in stimulating our fantasies for revving up ourselves or even with a partner.
Interests - What Porn Are We Watching?
Now that we are being honest about watching porn at all, what are watching. According to the same Year in Review by Pornhub, interest in transgender porn has gone up by 167% in searches by men. Lesbian porn is still top ranking, with searches related to Tinder rising by 161% by women.
If you are interested in watching women solo play while you self- pleasure too, it may be comforting to know that solo female searches and videos are up by 61% too!
Porn Technology To Be Aware Of
Porn has effected how we masturbate in a real way. It can be a great escape or a new way to discover a part of ourselves. On the flip side, the misuse of porn can have serious side effects.
For one, porn heavily suggests an outdated view on manliness and masculinity. It often oversimplifies femininity and shared pleasure too.
“As weird as it is to write, porn uses a more traditional idea of masculinity that can stifle emotions and pleasure for men and women.”
As weird as it is to write, porn uses a more traditional idea of masculinity that can stifle emotions and pleasure for men and women. With the man as the aggressor, controller, and main source and recipient of enjoyment, pornography exaggerates the role of men and how they supposed to be in real life and during sex. It also limits the ways in which a woman can find enjoy real, pleasurable sex.
Things to Try
No matter how you might use porn, it can always be good idea to try out something new. With porn, there is no need to be a creature of habit. If lesbian porn is your go-to , consider why and see if there are other types of porn that can help set the same mood.
If you tend to need porn to set the mood, try using your own imagination to get going and then introduce a video half way through. Or leave it to the end to help your finish. If you tend to watch porn the whole way through, do you think you can use it to set the mood and then let your imagination carry you over the orgasm finish line?
Toys
Mix sex toys and technology, and oh, baby you are in for a treat! Sex toys like dildos, vibrators, and strokers are all great for solo play and shared pleasure in a relationship.
“With toys, you or your partner can experience more and more intense orgasms, try new positions and keep things interesting.”
Sexual Revelation has ranked and stored top reviewed sex toys for both women and men that can help to start, increase, or complete sexual pleasure and orgasm.
What’s more, is that many of us, secretly want to masturbate with toys and with our partners more than we might be comfortable admitting. In TENGA’s 2018 Global Self Pleasure Report, 53% of American men are open to using a sex toy on himself and 71 percent are open to using one on his partner.
Toy Options
The Womanizer, is a great toy that even we had to try! Dildos can off excitement and different levels of pleasure.
Fleshlights, strokers, and other handhelds have been used by men and to men to lighten the load on their partners and increase their excitement.
Anal beads, prostate and g-spot stimulators, are all available and it then just becomes about trying them out to find the perfect matches for you. Cosmopolitan has some good suggestions on how these toys can be used for solo play and with your partner.
Things to Try
Toys are great for solo play when you are alone, solo play while your partner watches, or partner play for your partner to use on you and vice versa.
It can be feel weird to introduce sex toys into a relationship or situationship, but keep in mind that more of us like to use toys than we are openly admitting!
With toys, you or your partner can experience more and more intense orgasms, try new positions and keep things interesting. It takes the pressure off of both of you to do all of the work, and can still give huge rewards. Even if you and your partner do not orgasm, you can still give and get real pleasure.
With your toys, use clear communication to affirm the things you like and to help stop your partner from continuing things that do not turn you own. It is much better than silent sex. You’d be surprised how much more y’all will discover about each other, and just how hot it can be doing it.
Media
Online Stories
Romantic stories and erotica— yes there more to erotica than 50 Shades of Grey— can really spike up your interest in reading. And technology and access to the internet has only made sex stories more readily available.
Literotica, Wattpad have a host of stories to choose from. If you are looking for more diversity in your stories, check out these sex positive erotic Tumblrs.
Audiobooks
If you’re a millennial or generation Z with a short attention span, audiobooks might be the way to go. A quick search in Audible, or Amazon can set you up for success. Or LitTV live stories can set the scene too.
Things to Try
Maybe using the audiobooks can be used for solo masturbation as much as they can be used for partner play! If you are comfortable, do not feel restricted to keep these stories or mental escape it take you to, to yourself, unless of course, you prefer it that way!
The Point
Masturbation is meant to be FUN! Quick masturbation sessions can give a sudden rush and release while prolonged teasing and pleasure while masturbation can issue a powerful, all encompassing orgasm. Don’t let yourself get comfortable with one or two videos, toys, or moves. Switch it up, and you just might surprise yourself and bae.
The F.U.Q.s
There is as much fun in an orgasm as there is getting there.
If you are used to getting off one way, try using a different toy, manipulating your self with a different movements, or switching up the timing.
