Words can positively or negatively impact our outlook
Words only begin to matter when we consider how we string them together. So how do we change the way we phrase our words to ensure we positively impact our lives and relationships? How do we positively change our perspective when it can be hard to understand the impact that our words have? I mean, consider how many times you've said "I can't" until the point you actually believe it to be true! We we at All The FUQs get it and are here to help.
Good news! You Can You Use words to Positively Change A Relationship, Starting Today!
Consider how many times in any relationship you have looked at a partner to be the source of your happiness. How many times has someone close disappointed you, after you put so many expectations on them? We know a lot of this can sound familiar because we all do it. The good news is that it is easy to start to change! Below check out 5 ways you can start to positively change yourself and your relationships, through words.
Mistake 1: This Person Makes Me Happy
Instead Try: This Person Adds to My Happiness
Your happiness is created and fulfilled by you. I have learned that it is a set-up to base the root of your happiness on the actions of someone else. Instead trust and date yourself, and if you choose to share your time and energy with someone, regularly check in with yourself too. You are worth your time.
Mistake 2: "I expected..."
Instead Try: I reserve my expectations for myself, because I can more readily rely on me.
Expectations can easily be broken and those closest to us will disappoint us. That is okay and a part of life's process. However, so is learning to expect more of yourself than anyone else, because you are responsible for you. And hey, if you spend alone time with yourself, you just may find out impressive you really are!
Mistake 3: This person is mine
Instead Try: I am currently dating/seeing/in a relationship with /partnered with...
No one owns you and you own no one. In a relationship of any kind, whether it be parental, friendly, or sexual, it can be easy to feel that someone else's life revolves around you. Reality is though that it never does, nor should it. Personal agency is important and when it is not respected, it can disfigure any relationship
Mistake 4: I can't
Instead Try: I do not want to do this OR How will I be able to do this?
This one comes with a caveat as there are somethings that we just may not be able to do for a host of different reasons. However, in most situations and relationships, it is progress not perfection that we need to strive for. If you are saying that you can't is that what you really mean or do mean to say you do not want to? Or is it that you would love to but currently are not aware of how you could be able? Knowing what you really mean can let you and those around you accept a fact about yourself or challenge your current way of thinking.
Mistake 5: I should have
Instead Try: Presently, I will.
Living in the past keeps you stuck in the past. You can use the past to unearth lessons to better equip you for the present and future but wallowing in the shoulda-woulda-coulda's will never help in any relationship. Take those words out of your vocabularly and notice the health shifts in your perspective.
The FUQS
- You can own things and actions but not people. The more time we dedicate to owning our thoughts and actions, the better off we will be.
- Can't is overly used word. Attempt not using it at all for a week and see how you feel!
- Do not change happiness when you already have the tools to have it now!
