As a black sex coach in Brooklyn it was not shocking to me that one of the questions for a lot of people during Covid has been, how can I date safely?
Have you ever thought there will come a time when rules will be applied to your relationship?
We’ve all been under total lockdown so all the shenanigans of going to dinner dates and kissing afterward are gone. This serves as a test of time to know how committed you both choose to remain.
These new rules of staying at home have raised a lot of questions about what you can and cannot do. Here they are:
Can I Visit My Partner?
This is something that you and your partner should discuss together before making any decisions.
It can not be ignored that by putting yourselves in the same space, sharing the same air and touching the same stuff - both of you are making yourselves vulnerable.
As we learn more about Covid, we can see that timing is everything.
If you plan to see each other, certainly quarantine separately first for a couple weeks and get tested after that time.
It is really challenging not to be able to be near the ones you care about, so if you must, do it cautiously.
Embrace Technology
Video platforms are one of the biggest platforms we have right now.
It brings us closer and allows us to see each other as if the next person is sitting across the table. Before doing that, text and chat a little.
Weigh the Risks of Going Out
Before going out to see your partner, weigh the risks.
Consider if it's worth getting yourself exposed to the virus. In a situation where you are feeling sick or have come in contact with someone who is showing signs, do not visit.
Also keep in mind that you can spread the virus without showing symptoms, yourself. Continue to take all the required precautions!
Sex is Allowed
Right now, there is no proof that the virus is being transmitted sexually.
So if you live together with your partner, do not let your sex life die all for the fear of the virus.
Just practice the safety measures recommended by WHO then you are good to go.
Singles are Allowed to Date
No one places a ban on the single ones out there not fall in love but everything should be kept online.
Most people are not getting it straight. Some people will want to pressure you into coming out despite the rules.
But hey, it's better to stick to phone calls, video chats and messaging until the ban is lifted.
If you are in an area where restaurants and businesses have re-opened enjoy some time (while social distanced). Just keep your health in mind.
Be Creative
Get creative with video calls. Don't take it the way you will engage in a boring work zoom meeting especially if it's the first date.
You could take each other on tours of your home or plan something unique.
Just come up with a great idea.
Show Them Some Love
The pandemic should not make you stop having your partner at heart.
Do something cool. Look up the lists of restaurants that can do home delivery. Order their favorite meal and have it delivered to them.
Gift them with digital gift cards of a movie or something. Do random stuff to make each other happy as far you don't violate the rules of social distancing.
If you are a lady try to find out the things your man wants you to do but won't tell you. It will really help to make the bond stronger after the quarantine.
Don't Rush into Things
Before the corona, if you are the type that takes your partner on a date first before asking them out, still no problem.
Take your time and message them for a while before getting committed to putting across a video call.
Make Sure you Avoid Distraction while Chatting
As it stands now, the phone communicating online has become the major means of communication between people.
The best thing you can do is to give undivided attention to your spouse while chatting.
Don't video chat on one device with them and opening a Facebook message with the other device. It doesn't look good at all.
Give them all the attention in the world. That shows genuine connection and affection.
Concentrate on Emotional Connection
Being on social distancing does not mean emotional distancing.
Whether the relationship is a few months old or even brand new, it doesn't matter.
The don’ts do not include allowing your feelings for each other to die.
For every committed couple, Dr. Venus Nicolono, a Climkcal Psychologists recommends you start sharing journals.
She says, “Have one person write in the morning and one person write in the evening. The different time gives each partner something to look forward to. That diary can consist of your day to day thoughts about what you’re feeling and how you're feeling towards each other.”
It’s something you’re both creating together while simultaneously documenting the life of your relationship through this difficult time.”
The Covid_19 era is a period of extreme carefulness.
Following these rules plus others may be difficult but it's all for the best. Promise!